Oil Spill

Fish (1): Boy, I hate swimming through this muck … it's dirty out here today.
Fish (2): Watch out! The net is coming …!!!

Both fish were caught and sent to the market. The sale sign read:

Bally's Las Vegas Hotel: A group of VIPs with black suits checked in, stayed until midnight and exited.
Harrah's Las Vegas Hotel: More important looking VIPs checked in, each carrying heavy suitcases and serious looks.
Bellagio, MGM, Venetian Hotel: Activity level increased as each day went by. All guests wore black suits, seldom talked and left promptly at midnight.

Bell Boy asked Manager: What's going on? Is there any shady business being conducted here?
Manager laughed: Oh, you don't know?!?! These are the new derivative desks from the biggest Wall Street firms. The government thinks that it's more appropriate to merge their operations with our casino business!

Recession Economics

Tourist tried to pay for his purchase in Euros.
Vendor refused: We don't take Euros here.
Tourist tried paying again in US$.
Vendor snorted: US dollars ain't worth anything.
Tourist took the money back. He took out a piece of paper, wrote something, signed and left with the merchandise.

A curious bystander asked: What did you give him?

Tourist answered: Nothing really. I just wrote my name, my qualification as a sharp shooter in the Military Service and my 15 years of pristine military service record.

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