Power Conservation
The weather was really hot, but my wife suddenly got the idea that she wanted to save money by cutting down our electricity consumption. For the whole month we didn't turn on any lights. We avoid watching TV. We turned off the radio and didn't even use the computer which almost drove me insane. We unplugged everything we could, including the fan, the AC and the refrigerator.

At the end of the month, our total electric bill came to $1.00 and that was because our next door neighbor had to ring the door bell for a whole minute.
Reason: My wife fainted under the sweltering heat!

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem. The US Health Department decided to start testing for cholesterol among children.

In response to the public concern, a prominent fast food store offered a prize to anyone who can come up with the most innovative solution to the problem.

One employee suggested to eliminate "French Fries." The employee got $103 for that suggestion --- his severance pay!

Husband jumped: Another child? We have three already!

Wife: I am just responding to my biological needs.

Husband: We can't afford this. The average child costs $286,050 before college. Think, again honey! A baby has got to be the most bio-illogical thing to do!

Dad: Young man, don't argue. If you are so ecologically inclined, start with cleaning up your own room? It's such a mess. How do you know where anything is?

Son: Easy! --- They're all on the floor!

Dad pulled out a five dollar bill and gave it to the son, "Ecological or not, just make this disappear. I don't ever want to see this mess again."

The son took the $5.00, bought a lock for the door and Dad never saw the mess again.

• Asset Management

• New Retirement Plans
• Plan Service Features
• Newsletters